Things that irk me

I have a lot of time to contemplate in my car. Something about being on the road that calms me, especially when I'm driving up to my Mum's house through the rolling hills of potato country. The sun radiates accross the patchwork hills and it makes me appreciate how lucky I am to be living so close to so much beauty. And then.... I see a figure in the distance, strolling along side the road. Their companion by their side and I think 'oh how nice to be meandering through the country side with faithful companion panting along side'. As I near the two figures, one taller and one small and furry, I take in the picture as you would a still frame of a postcard set against the lush green background. It's not until I get within focus distance that the dog, at that very moment decides to stop, crouch down in that rather uncomfortable looking way and push for almighty while the poor owner just has to wait there.

I know they can't help it, that when 'nature calls' it is enevitable but I really do think that they plan it. How else could a dog have better timing? They must wait not only for the only car, in fifteen minutes to drive by, but know the exact distance at which human eyesight gains focus.

This happened to me today and to be honest, it dampened my day. Here I was having a euphoric, inner peace moment. I didn't know whether to laugh or if I was going to throw up in my mouth a little bit. For me, it's on par for cringe factor with a dog that humps your leg!

If I ever own a dog, and I would like to. I like dogs, I just really really really don't like seeing a dog pooing. Sorry to all the dog people out there, I can't help it. Some people vomit at the sight of other people vomiting, me, I'm fine. I can hold hair back and wipe chunks. But don't ask me to take a dog for a walk.

It just came to me and I had to get it out, I apologise for any vulgar images I may have caused you to conjure.